do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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