He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
