he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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