They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
