Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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