You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Help. Why am I so naked?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
