piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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