In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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