Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
