i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
