Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
