I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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