Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
