My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
