You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
