Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
