so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
