Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
