Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
