Its about making memories worth repressing
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
