So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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