I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
