My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
