My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
