he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
