just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
