You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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