Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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