Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
