i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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