"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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