i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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