I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
