Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
