I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
