I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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