This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
