so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
