i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
