sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
