we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
