Define "chronic" masturbator.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
a search helicopter?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
