the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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