they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
PANTIES FOUND
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