I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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