ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
