I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
