office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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