i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
