I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
