Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
